I’ve decided to limit my use of social media to as little as possible.
Social Media: A False Reality
One of the reasons I avoid social media is that it is not real life. Social media is a carefully curated, artificial world where we present the version of ourselves we want others to see. It’s the most pervasive source of misinformation in our culture.
People sometimes use social media to keep in touch with family and friends. But is this genuinely effective if what we see doesn’t reflect their real lives? Sure, we get a glimpse into their activities, but it’s important to remember that what we see is often filtered and far from the complete picture.
“Everyone is writing fiction on social media.”
Joshua Becker, Things That Matter: Overcoming Distraction to Pursue a More Meaningful Life.
I have a relative who loves to post about their perfect, loving family, filling their Facebook feed with happy family photos. But, as you might guess, they conveniently leave out the reality of their many conflicts and challenges. It’s a polished image that doesn’t show the truth.
I’ve been guilty of the same behavior. When I used Facebook to share our trips, I only posted the highlights—the beautiful photos and fun moments. I left out the mishaps and frustrations. Anyone reading my posts would think all our trips were “epic” or “awesome,” but that wasn’t the reality.
Social Media: Bringing Out the Worse in People
It’s no secret that social media was specifically designed to target some key human weaknesses. It’s all about maintaining a positive, even enviable image that garners as many ‘likes’ as possible.
“Social media is a fountain of bedevilments. It trains people to think in ways that are exactly contrary to the world’s wisdom traditions: Think about yourself first; be materialistic, judgmental, boastful, and petty; seek glory as quantified by likes and followers.”
Jonathan Haidt, The Anxious Generation: How the Great Rewiring of Childhood Is Causing an Epidemic of Mental Illness
It’s hard enough to be the best human I can be in dealing with others without steeping myself in an environment that’s engineered to make me self-centered, exaggerate my life, and seek the envy of others.
Social Media: An Addictive Trap
I also avoid using social media because it is highly addictive. Austin Kleon writes, “Social media has created a human phenomenon called FOMO: the Fear Of Missing Out. It’s the sense, scrolling through your feeds, that everybody out there is having a much better time than you are.” Austin Kleon, Keep Going: 10 Ways to Stay Creative in Good Times and Bad.
Social media gives us a quick dopamine hit when we see something new or get a “like” on a Facebook post. We know these platforms are intentionally designed to exploit our weaknesses, to keep us hooked and engaged for as long as possible—all to increase advertising revenue.
Because of its addictive nature, social media can quickly eat up huge chunks of our time. “The average person spends nearly 116 minutes every day—about 2 hours—on social media, which over an average lifetime would add up to 5 years and 4 months.” Erica Dhawan, Digital Body Language: How to Build Trust and Connection, No Matter the Distance.
My Primary Use of Social Media: Group Pages and Posting Blog Links
I still use Facebook to follow certain groups and organizations. These pages function more like website substitutes than traditional social media. Many groups—especially those related to hiking, gaming, photography, and various organizations I’m involved with—use Facebook pages as their primary communication platform.
However, I limit my time even with these by using tools that help me stay focused. I don’t follow individuals on social media; I subscribe to blogs or newsletters of people I respect. If they’re only on social media, I skip them. I’m not interested in hopping between short posts and distracting myself from what matters.
I also use social media to post links to new blog posts. I don’t try to encourage community participation with these posts; they are simply announcements of my posts directing people back to my website.
Use Texts and Email To Keep in Touch With Friends and Family
There are other ways to keep in touch with family members and friends. Emails and texts can be addressed to a group of contacts or individuals. By not using social media yourself, you can discourage others from using it as their preferred way to “keep in touch.”
Instead of using Facebook, I send texts to friends and family, including descriptions of what we’ve been up to and some photos. This allows me to make my communications personal to each person instead of using a shotgun approach. Personalizing my texts may take a little longer, but I think the increased intimacy and personal touch are worth it to maintain and grow relationships.
If other options aren’t practical, then you may have to make limited use of Facebook as I do. But in order not to get sucked into Facebook browsing, use the tools listed below to limit their use.
How To Control Your Use of Social Media
How can you control your consumption of social media?
• Limit your time with Screen Time. Apple’s Screen Time feature allows you to set daily limits on the apps you use. You can set a specific time limit for each app to keep your usage in check.
Here’s how to do it:
- Tap on “App Limits.”
- Tap “Add Limit.”
- On your iPhone or iPad, go to the Settings App, and tap on “Screen Time.”
You’ll be presented with a screen showing categories of apps. If you want to place limits on a specific app like FaceTime, enter it in the search bar on the top.
4. Tap the check circle to the left of the app name, then tap “Add” in the upper-right corner.
5. Tap “Next,” and it will bring you to a screen where you can set your time limit.
For more information about using this feature, see my blog post Screen Time — A Tool to Bring Self-Discipline to Our Use of Social Media,
• Turn off social media notifications on your devices. Go into your device settings and locate the Notifications setting. Turn off social media app notifications. This will help you avoid constant interruptions which tempt you to break your focus.
• Set a specific time block when you engage with social media. If you want to spend time with social media, use time blocking and refuse to look at it except during those designated times. When the time is up, close the app and move on to something else.
• Use Apple’s focus modes. use Focus modes to silence social media notifications during work or hobbies. Here’s how to set them up for iPhone and iPad.
Break Free From Social Media
Social media is a false reality designed to be addictive and manipulative. To protect your time and mental well-being, limit your use of social media, turn off notifications, and use tools like Screen Time and Focus modes.
Let’s focus on engaging with the real world and building meaningful connections and experiences. It’s time to break free from social media’s cycle of comparison and misinformation.
So, take action today—reclaim your time and attention from social media’s grip.
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