In The Practice: Shipping Creative Work, Seth Godin writes, “It’s time to start training the boss that is you. Time to start trusting your self, trusting the process, and trusting that you are actually as capable as you are.”
Godin encourages us to trust ourselves and our capabilities. Trusting in our capabilities means we don’t panic, don’t constantly seek external validation, and plan for and commit to bigger and better projects than we might ordinarily take on.
Let Your Accomplishments Be the Basis for Your Trust in Your Capabilities
I’m not talking here about some positive-thinking pep talk where you stand in front of a mirror and repeat “I am capable” three times.
Rather, I’m talking about understanding our capabilities based on our experience. I don’t believe you can convince yourself of your capabilities based solely on repeating wishful mantras.
What have you accomplished in the past? What have you shown you’re capable of doing?
I’ve always had a tendency to downplay my capabilities and accomplishments. I’m an introvert and don’t like to focus attention on myself. It’s just what I do, so it’s no big deal to me.
That’s a mistake. With humility and an awareness that I have areas of weakness, I need to acknowledge that, based on my history, I do have capabilities I can build on.
I’ve accomplished a lot in my life. It’s hard for me to recognize that. I even have a hard time telling you about them because I’m afraid you’ll think I’m an arrogant bragging asshole.
I’ve earned two undergraduate degrees (AA and BS), and two 3-year graduate degrees (Religion and Law). I spent over 20 years in ministry, and over 15 years practicing law.
I was a member of the United States Air Force for over 33 years, I served in all 3 of the professional Corps — Medical, Chaplain, and JAG (a lawyer in the AF). During my active duty and reserve career, I increased in rank from an Airman Basic (E-1, the lowest rank) to a Lieutenant Colonel (0-5).
After working in a small law firm for a year, I established my practice in family law and criminal defense. Later, I established a successful estate planning practice (happy law).
My wife and I have a great relationship and recently celebrated our 50th anniversary. We raised 4 children together, most of whom have their families now.
I’ve had many interesting hobbies, including playing adult soccer, participating in WWII reenactment, a long history of playing war games, and a love of Mac computers since 1984. I still enjoy hiking and backpacking.
Since retiring in 2015, I’ve served my community for 5 years as a shift supervisor in the Sheriff’s Posse. In the past two years, I’ve written two blogs on two different topics, and continue to write one of them.
As a result of the training I’ve received and my life experience, I’ve done a lot of writing, teaching, mixed media presentations, and public speaking. When I list them all out like this, it amazes me how many capabilities I’ve accumulated.
We’re Often More Focused on Our Failures Than Our Capabilities
You’d think with all the experiences I’ve had and all I’ve accomplished, I’d be overflowing with confidence in my capabilities.
But I’m not. It’s easy for me to focus on what I don’t know and what skills I don’t have.
As humans, we tend to focus on the negative. I think about what I’ve screwed up and what I haven’t done. We remember our failures with much more intensity than we do our successes.
When I was on active duty in the Air Force, I worked with the Air Force Survival School. As a part of the training, flight crew members were taught how to “return with honor” if they were shot down and captured by the enemy.
The entire resistance training program was designed by psychologists to ensure that students failed at various activities. Why? Because they wanted students to remember the potentially life-saving lessons, and they knew humans best remember their failures.
We’re often much more capable than we think we are. Others see it, but we don’t.
We Need to Get Realistic About Our Capabilities and Trust in Our Abilities
Because we don’t trust in ourselves, our process, and our capabilities, we shy away from challenges. We’re afraid to take on projects that will expand us and help us to grow.
We struggle with Imposter Syndrome because we don’t believe we’re capable of doing work that makes a difference (.
How much more could we contribute if we honestly and realistically acknowledged our capabilities?
I’d be much bolder and take on bigger challenges.
Tips for Trusting in Your Capabilities
Your trust in your capabilities needs to be solidly based on your experiences. I challenge you to take stock of your unique capabilities:
• Make a list of your educational accomplishments. Think about the skills and capabilities you developed while in school. What skills helped you to succeed, and which followed you when you finished school?
• List the jobs you have done so far in your life. What special skills were required to do these jobs? What skills enabled you to succeed in these jobs?
• Make a list of your personal life accomplishments — relationships, hobbies, etc. What capabilities are revealed by what you’ve done?
• Meet with a trusted friend or relative, and ask them what you’re good at. You’ll be amazed at how others view you as a very capable person with an abundance of skills.
• Make a combined list of all the individual capabilities and skills you’ve demonstrated. This list can serve as the basis for acknowledging what you’re good at. You can trust yourself to be capable of doing these things. Look in the mirror and say, “Yes, I’ve failed at many things, but these are the things I’ve proven I’m capable of.”
Now that you trust in your capabilities, you’ll have the courage to step out take on a new and bigger challenge, and make a difference!