The Common Misunderstanding Between Limits and Limiting Beliefs
Have you ever stopped yourself from trying something new because you thought you couldn’t do it?
That’s probably true of most of us. However, there’s a big difference between ‘knowing our limits’ and ‘having limiting beliefs.’ The two are often confused.
Limiting Beliefs: Self-Imposed Barriers That Keep You Stuck
What are limiting beliefs?
A limiting belief is a self-imposed mental constraint that prevents you from reaching your potential.
Many of us stop ourselves from trying something new because we assume we can’t do it. But how do we know if that’s true? Are we recognizing real physical or mental limits—or are we just holding ourselves back?
Limiting beliefs stem from fear, not facts. They keep us stuck by making us assume failure before we even try.
“There are opportunities around you all the time, every day, and in many cases you are unable to see them, because limiting beliefs blind you to real possibilities.”
Dave Gray, Liminal Thinking: Create the Change You Want by Changing the Way You Think
Examples of limiting beliefs are when somebody might say, “I’m too old to learn a new language” or “I’d never be good at public speaking.” These statements may or may not be accurate. With some training or more time, learning a new language or being an adequate public speaker might be possible.
Recognizing Real Physical and Mental Boundaries
What does it mean to know your limits?
Knowing your limits means understanding your true physical, mental, or situational boundaries based on reality. It isn’t about doubt or fear—it’s about self-awareness. Some limits are actual and should be respected, while others are temporary and can be expanded.
Examples of knowing your limits would be someone confined in a wheelchair saying, “I can’t run in a marathon.” Or, I could say, “I can’t be a pro soccer star.” I don’t have the skills, the age (I’m 72), or the physical makeup to have any realistic chance at all of actually being a pro soccer star.
How to Tell the Difference Between a Limiting Belief and a Real Limit
Sometimes, it’s difficult to determine the difference between knowing your limits and a limiting belief. Here are some questions that can help determine the difference:
• Am I saying no to something I’m considering based on fear or fact?
• Have I had a past failure with this and I’m afraid of failing again?
• Is this something I can change with effort or time or maybe some training?
For instance, someone might say, “I could never snow ski.” For a 20-year-old in good physical shape, that’s likely a limiting belief because, with some lessons, they might very well be able to ski. On the other hand, for a 95-year-old confined to a wheelchair, it has to do with knowing limits. No amount of training or experience will change that limit.
How to Overcome Limiting Beliefs
• Challenge limiting beliefs. Use evidence-based thinking. What proof do you have that you can’t do something?
• Reframe the belief. Instead of, “I can’t,” say “I haven’t yet.”
• Take small steps to test the belief.
If you think you can’t ski, take some lessons and see how you do. It may be that you can’t do very well skiing, and that’s okay. Or you may find that with training, you can do reasonably well or even great.
But until you try, you really don’t know. That’s just a limited belief.
How to Respect Real Limits Without Frustration
Respect real limits wisely. They don’t define your worth. Just because you can’t do a particular thing doesn’t mean you’re worth less as a person.
Look for alternatives. You may not be able to do X, but can you do Y instead?
I can’t comfortably backpack 15-mile days like I used to, but I can do seven or eight-mile days. Recognize when limits can be expanded through training, practice, or education.
Push Yourself, But Be Honest About What’s Possible
The final takeaway: growth comes from pushing past false limits while honoring true boundaries.
Think about one thing you’ve told yourself you can’t do. Is it really impossible—or just unfamiliar? What’s one small step you can take today to find out?
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