Image is all-important in our social media culture. People regularly post carefully curated photos on Facebook and Instagram to project the image they want others to have of them.
They select images that say, “Look how exciting my life is,” “Look at what a wonderful family I have,” or “Look at how cool I am.” You never see images of people living their everyday boring and routine lives.
As a part of a personal image, people also claim identities. I’ve seen young people with almost no life experience claim, “I’m a personal coach,” “I’m a writer,” or “I’m an entrepreneur.”
We Like the Sound of the Identity, But Don’t Like the Work
It’s not unusual for us to like the image and vibe of an identity we’ve adopted but not like the work associated with it. “Lots of people want to be the noun without doing the verb. They want the job title without the work.” Keep Going, by Austin Kleon.
“Many of us harbor a deep-seated desire to adopt a particular identity, often picturing ourselves as something that we are not.”
Why We Do Things We Hate, Mark Manson
Why do we do this? Perhaps we’ve always dreamed of being a writer, so we take on this identity as adults. Or, we think a specific identity is cool or popular and will make us more attractive. Maybe we have a perceived need and think adopting an identity will fix something in our lives.
My Identity as a Thru Hiker
A few years ago, I was introduced by a hiking friend to the concept of Thru Hiking. This term describes hikers who continuously hike longer trails from one end to the other. This includes exceptionally long trails like the Pacific Crest Trail (2,653 miles (4,269.59 km)) and shorter trails such as the Arizona Trail (800 miles (1,287.48 km)) and the Centennial Trail (120 miles (193.12 km)) here in South Dakota.
Thru-hikers enjoy a unique, elevated class in the hiking and backpacking community. They’re viewed as strong, disciplined, determined, motivated, and tough hikers who can go the distance.
I wanted that identity as an older guy (most thru-hikers are young). It would be a mark of honor and give me a confident swagger in my walk.
The problem was that when I started doing longer hikes, I learned I enjoyed doing much shorter “section hikes” of 20–70 miles over several days, but not longer hikes. At the end of a section hike, I was ready to be done and go home to recuperate. I found I had no desire to do a long thru-hike.
Mark Manson writes about his desire for many years to adopt the identity of a surfer. He liked the image of the athletic beach bum. But he found he didn’t enjoy surfing.
We Need to Align Our Identities With the Work We Like
We must ask each identity we adopt: “Do I like the work associated with this identity?” If we do, then take on that identity.
If we don’t like doing the work associated with an identity, then we must drop the identity. Let go of images that aren’t us. Holding on to an identity when we don’t like the work that goes with the identity is a source of self-deception, confusion, and wasted energy.
Mark Manson writes, “The key to a rich life is finding pleasure in the things themselves, not just in the identities they confer upon us.” Why We Do Things We Hate.
The Importance of Aligning Identity with Genuine Enjoyment
In conclusion, we need to align our identities with the work we enjoy. In our image-driven society, we often adopt identities that we think will make us more attractive or fulfill a perceived need. Still, if we do not like the work associated with that identity, it is essential to let go.
Holding on to an identity that does not align with our true interests and passions only leads to self-deception, confusion, and wasted energy.
Ultimately, the key to a fulfilling and rich life is finding pleasure in the things themselves rather than just the identities they confer upon us.