Self-aware people think a lot about discovering their calling in life.
Today’s quote highlights the challenges of finding one’s calling: “It is not easy to find one’s calling in life. Although some know what they want to do from an early age, for most, it takes many years to find their path.” The Things You Can See Only When You Slow Down: How to Be Calm in a Busy World, by Haemin Sunim.
Here, Sunim is talking about finding a career, which is generally what people think when they discuss a life calling.
I’ve never had a calling in the sense of one overarching life career. Instead, I’ve experienced multiple callings to different careers at different times. It’s common in our culture for people to have multiple careers over their lifetime.
Understanding Life Callings: More Than Just a Career
I’ve come to see “life calling” as something much deeper than just our career—it underlies all aspects of our lives, including our careers.
Over the last few years, I’ve realized that my life calling is to become the best possible version of myself. This goal inspires and motivates me in all areas of my life.
“There may be no greater pursuit for yourself and others than choosing to live a meaningful life focused on the things that matter.”
Things That Matter: Overcoming Distraction to Pursue a More Meaningful Life, by Joshua Becker
A Life Calling That Focuses on Self-Comparison, Not Comparison with Others
Our culture often teaches us to compare ourselves with others, urging us to “keep up with the Joneses.” We receive messages that we should measure our success against the accomplishments of others, often leading to feelings of inadequacy. There’s always someone smarter, prettier, more handsome, has more income, and is more successful than we are.
However, the aspiration of becoming the best possible version of myself avoids this issue. The standard of comparison is not others but my progression in becoming the best version of myself.
“Your potential, the absolute best you’re capable of-that’s the metric to measure yourself against. Your standards are. Winning is not enough. People can get lucky and win. People can be assholes and win. Anyone can win. But not everyone is the best possible version of themselves.”
Ego Is the Enemy, by Ryan Holiday
We seek only to improve ourselves. Our journey is about where we’ve been and where we’re headed, and we focus on becoming the best possible version of ourselves.
Moving from Esoteric Vision to a Practical Life Calling
I’ve attended many retreats and courses on discovering your “life vision” or “life calling.” Most approaches involve listing your values, narrowing them down to a few key values, and attempting to identify an overarching life calling based on those values.
While this process sounds great in theory, it always left me more frustrated and confused. Using values as a basis felt too abstract and removed from daily life. Using these systems, I’ve seen people develop impractical and esoteric life goals such as “Do everything with love.”
To become the best version of myself, I needed first to discover who I was and understand my strengths and weaknesses. Personality profiles helped here, along with taking a Motivation Code profile. It’s also helpful to ask others how they perceive us. What do they see as our greatest strengths and weaknesses? What do they see as our unique abilities and contributions?
It wasn’t until I discovered David Spark’s life roles system that I could define in a practical and actionable way what it meant to become the best version of myself. Inspired by Ancient Greek and Roman Stoic philosophers, Spark’s system focuses on achieving excellence (Arete in Greek) in all areas of life.
The process started with defining my various life roles, giving me practical insights into what I thought was important. The next step was to craft statements that succinctly defined my behavior if I were the best possible version of myself in each role.
These behavior statements became my marching orders and my points of comparison to measure my improvement (or lack of it!). While I’m constantly striving to improve in all areas, at the beginning of each quarter, I select the best possible behavior statements I plan to focus on during the upcoming quarter. At the end of the quarter, I see how much progress I’ve made.
It’s an ongoing process. As I review my roles and behavior statements each week, I’m constantly revising them and discovering new statements to include. And, of course, the work of improvement never stops. They are ideals that I will never fully realize.
Join Me In My Quest
My ongoing goal is to become the best possible version of myself. Your best possible version will be different because you are a unique individual.
I urge you to get a copy of the Productivity Field Guide and begin your journey toward your best self.
As a blog writer and teacher, I aim to help others find their life callings and live intentionally to become the best possible versions of themselves. Their “best possible version of themselves” will likely differ from mine. We’re different people with unique personalities and desires.