We’re in Panic Mode!
As I write this, my wife and I are in panic mode.
We’ve been talking for some time about moving from our home in Phoenix, AZ to Rapid City, SD. Last month we spent several days in the Rapid City area, taking a hard look at it as potential residents. We’d been through the Black Hills area many times back in the 80s when we were stationed in North Dakota, but being a tourist and being a resident are two completely unique things.
We decided we wanted to make the move at some point in the future, possibly next Spring. We miss having four seasons, and we miss being close to mountains with creeks and lakes and plenty of trees.
Last week, a friend who flips homes in this area told us the market is hot right now, and he would put us in touch with a realtor he works with. We met with the realtor on Saturday. He also says this is an excellent time to sell a home and wants to put the house on the market as soon as possible, like next week. He also warned us that many buyers want to move in quickly after closing, so we ought to start looking for something in Rapid City. Holy crap!
We’re in panic mode trying to prepare our home for sale. But the real source of our panic mode is we’re comfortable and afraid to take a risk. We’re afraid, and it would be far easier to stay where we are. We like the home we’re in, we have friends and medical connections we are comfortable with, and we’re comfortable with the area after living here almost 8 years.
Comfort Can Kill Your Dreams by Making You Afraid to Change
“It’s easier than you think to get stuck in your comfort zone and become stale, stagnant, and complacent.”
5 Reasons Comfort Is the Secret Killer of Happiness, by George J. Ziogas
We’ve decided we value and want the benefits the Rapid City area offers: a beautiful mountain range at our doorstep with unlimited recreational opportunities (we’re hikers and backpackers). Beautiful parks and hiking trails in town, along with lots of wildlife and trees. 4 seasons (Phoenix has two seasons: very hot and cooler).
So, what’s the difficulty with just moving there? The problem is: We’re in our comfort zone here, and it’s scary to think about leaving and going into the unknown. It’s a risk to move somewhere else. What if we don’t like it? What if we’re sorry we moved? What if we wished we’d stayed where we are? It’s uncomfortable (but it’s also an adventure!) having to establish new friendships, find new doctors and medical facilities, new shopping, etc.
Comfort is a trap. It makes you afraid and insecure to do anything new and different.
How to Move Beyond Comfort and Fear and Take a Risk
1. Start the process by thinking a proposed change through. Draw a line down a piece of paper and objectively list all the positives you can think of on one side, and the negatives on the other. Or, you can create a MindNode mind map that can be modified as you think through an option.
How do you value the negatives and positives? Are any of the negatives game-stoppers? Are the positives significant to you? Do the positives outweigh the negatives?
Carefully thinking through a proposed change can either encourage you to make the change, or help prevent a costly mistake. Either conclusion helps you to make a well-informed decision.
2. Recognize and acknowledge the fear you feel about making a change. Understand, this fear is often based on comfort and complacency. If there are good reasons for making the change, recognizing the fear you’re experiencing is based on comfort can lessen its influence over you, and help you to move forward despite feeling afraid.
But don’t totally discount fear. Sometimes fear is a legitimate warning signal that what you’re thinking of doing is too risky. So acknowledge the fear, and then determine where it’s coming from. If it’s based on feeling too comfortable, work through it. If it’s a big risk, reevaluate whether it’s really what you want to do.
3. Do your due diligence in thinking objectively about your proposed change, but don’t ignore your heart and emotions. The reality is that we mostly make decisions because of what we feel, not rational thinking. If we have strong positive feelings prompting us to make a change, we need to acknowledge them as well.
Sometimes (but not always) it’s wise to follow the advice of Henry David Thoreau, “Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you’ve imagined.”
4. Ask, “What is keeping me back from making this change?” If it’s primarily complacency and security based on comfort, recognize it and move through it and make the change.
5. There are no guarantees. Just because you’ve objectively thought about a proposed change, acknowledged your fears, and listened to your heart doesn’t guarantee that everything will work out great.
This is no certainty in life, and taking a risk is by definition risky. You can do what you can to mitigate risk, but you can’t eliminate it. It might work out great, it might not.
But you’ll never know unless you try.
“Perhaps it’s an overused phrase, but for good reason: “Nothing ventured, nothing gained.” If you don’t try something new, you won’t succeed at anything new. Big rewards come to those willing to take risks, even if they aren’t large ones.”
How to get out of your comfort zone (in 6 simple steps), by Maggie Wooll