The Illusion of Future Fulfillment: Defining Someday Syndrome
Someday syndrome is the trap of constantly pushing our personal fulfillment or contentment into the future. It’s based on the illusion we tell ourselves that we’ll feel like a different person once we’ve achieved a particular milestone. But the truth is, this mindset leaves us perpetually waiting for a future that never arrives.
As Dr. Sarah Sarkis put it in her Newsletter (July 28, 2024), “Someday, when I’ve reached this goal, I will feel (fill in the blank): confident, better, secure, have all the answers, etc.”
It’s a common refrain: “If I could just do X, then I could do Y.” We imagine that once we achieve a specific goal, we’ll transform into the person we want to be. But more often than not, we arrive at our goal unchanged, realizing we’re the same person who started the journey.
Take my own experience. When we moved last year, I fed myself grand illusions about how everything would change after the move—I’d become more athletic, social, and outdoorsy.
Yet when we arrived in South Dakota, the same version of me that lived in Arizona showed up in South Dakota. There was no instant transformation. Duh!
The Lie We Tell Ourselves About the Future
We convince ourselves that achieving a goal—whether it’s landing a promotion, buying a house, or moving to a new city—will magically change how we feel about life. We cling to the idea that someday, when everything falls into place, we’ll finally feel confident, secure, or fulfilled.
As Dr. Sarkis said, “We delude ourselves that someday, we’ll have all the proverbial corners neatly tucked in.”
We think, “If I had a custom-built studio like David Sparks does, I’d be able to create great work like he does.” We forget that he produced great work when his “studio” was a desk in a corner of his Master Bedroom.
This mindset turns life into a waiting game. We tell ourselves, “If only I had the perfect studio, the best tools, or more time, then I could create incredible work.”
But perfection never comes. We get stuck in a cycle of waiting instead of starting.
Stop Waiting for the Perfect Moment: It Will Never Come
The belief that we need the perfect conditions to start is a convenient excuse for avoiding action.
We see someone else’s success and think, “I need their level of resources, skill, or knowledge before I can even begin.” But this is a myth. There is no perfect time to start a new venture or make a life change. Life is always full of uncertainties.
Each day spent waiting for someday is a day lost. Waiting for the stars to align only leads to missed opportunities.
It’s okay not to be perfect. Allow yourself to be imperfect. Progress is messy, and that’s okay. As Marcus Aurelius wisely reminded us, “Don’t await the perfection of Plato’s Republic, but be satisfied with even the smallest step forward.”
Perfect doesn’t exist. The smallest action today is worth more than waiting for a flawless tomorrow.
The Power of Small Steps: Why Starting Today Matters
Stop telling yourself, “Someday when I have a great studio, I’ll be a great writer,” or “Someday when I can afford a premium gym membership, I’ll get fit.” Instead, start with something small today. It’s not about reaching the end goal immediately.
It’s about making steady, small progress. Write for 30 minutes today. Go for a 10-minute walk now. No matter how imperfect, the act of doing is the only way to move forward.
The conditions don’t have to be perfect. What matters is that you begin, using whatever tools and circumstances you have at your disposal. The power lies in consistency, not in waiting for the right moment.
The Power of Presence: How to Cultivate Growth Here and Now
As Todd Henry reminds us in Daily Creative: Find Your Inspiration to Spark Creative Energy and Fight Burnout, “Before you seek a new field, make sure you’ve grown all you can in the spot you’re planted.”
Avoid thinking you must be somewhere else to become who you can be. Focus on where you are now and how you can grow there.
Find ways to develop in your current situation rather than waiting for a change in circumstances. Growth happens where you are, not where you imagine you need to be.
“There is a great deal more happiness around us day by day than we have the sense or the power to seek and find.”
Thomas Mitchell
Mindfulness teaches us to be present and appreciate where we are. It helps us to break the habit of always looking to the future for happiness or success. Zen Buddhist teacher Haemin Sunim wrote, “If our ultimate goal is happiness, we won’t experience it as long as our mind remains restless while constantly seeking something else.” When Things Don’t Go Your Way.
Simple habits, such as starting each day with gratitude or ending the day by reflecting on small wins, help cultivate a grounded, present-focused mindset.
Your Life Is Happening Now: Take Action Today
As Yoda said of Luke Skywalker, “All his life has he looked away…to the future, to the horizon. Never his mind on where he was.”
Don’t make the same mistake. Your life is happening right now, not in some imagined future. Every day spent waiting is an opportunity wasted. Start with one small action today. Make a plan, set a tiny goal, and begin now.
Stop postponing your happiness and fulfillment for “someday.” Your life is waiting for you to engage with it fully—right here, right now.